Looking for the best dad jokes that will make you laugh? You’re in the right place! Funny dad jokes are silly, simple, and perfect for any age.
Whether you love cheesy jokes, corny jokes, or pun jokes, we’ve got them all! These clean jokes are family-friendly jokes that everyone can enjoy.
From classic dad jokes to short dad jokes and quick one-liner jokes, this list has the best dad jokes to share with friends, kids, or just to brighten your day. Get ready to laugh—or maybe just roll your eyes! Let’s dive in!
Best Dad Jokes
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Alt: He really stood out in a crowd!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Alt: It keeps floating in my mind!
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
Alt: A bit of a spacey vibe, don’t you think?
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Alt: They’re spineless about confrontation.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Alt: A noodle with identity issues.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
Alt: Invite all the stars!
What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
Alt: Slim waist, bro!
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
Alt: That’s a big sniff!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
Alt: Too fragile for punchlines.
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
Alt: Sea you later!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
Alt: Let’s connect!
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
Alt: Spoke too soon!
Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it.
Alt: Let it melt away.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
Alt: Surprise clean-up squad!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Alt: Lies on a molecular level!
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Alt: Got tired of the ear ache.
I would tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
Alt: Under renovation!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
Alt: Extinct, but still polite!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
Alt: Stolen dairy!
Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
Alt: Even numbers have issues!
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Best Dad Jokes for Adults
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.
Alt: Guess I walked right into that one.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
Alt: Balance is everything.
I asked my date if she liked vegetables. She said yes, so I said, “Great, I’m a-pea-ling.”
Alt: Call me your little legume.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money—he just stands there applauding.
Alt: Zero help with air circulation.
My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
Alt: One small step for me, one sore leg for mankind.
The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.
Alt: Can’t spin a better joke than that!
I told my boss three companies were after me. He said, “Which ones?” I said, “Gas, electric, and water.”
Alt: The utilities are relentless.
I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
Alt: Now it’s part of my personality.
I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
Alt: Wordplay failure!
I got fired from the bank today. A woman asked me to check her balance—so I pushed her.
Alt: HR was not amused.
I changed my password to “incorrect” so whenever I forget it, the computer reminds me: “Your password is incorrect.”
Alt: Built-in tech support.
I once dated a girl who worked at a zoo. She was a keeper.
Alt: But she was always monkeying around.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.
Alt: Comedy or tragedy? You decide.
I used to run a dating service for chickens… But I was struggling to make hens meet.
Alt: Fowl play all around.
I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
Alt: I just loafed around.
I bought a pair of camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find them.
Alt: Still missing in action.
My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends.
Alt: Totaled with style.
They say money talks, but mine just says goodbye.
Alt: Fluent in vanishing.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Alt: Arch enemies now.
Why did I start a bakery in my garage? Because I kneaded dough.
Alt: Rolling in puns, not profits.
Best Corny Dad Jokes
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Alt: All bones, no backbone.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
Alt: It’s the little mysteries that haunt me.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
Alt: Truly a-corny-plished.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went… then it dawned on me.
Alt: Literally an enlightening moment.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
Alt: Hands off, that’s mine.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity—it’s impossible to put down!
Alt: Float your interest!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Alt: Noodle knockoff.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
Alt: Yolk’s on them.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Alt: Much better sound quality.
What did the grape do when he got stepped on? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
Alt: Squeezed under pressure.
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
Alt: That’d be a real face stretch.
I told my dog he was adopted. He said, “Wow, that’s ruff.”
Alt: Tail of heartbreak.
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Alt: Should’ve ducked.
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
Alt: Moo-ving in silence.
I would tell you a construction joke… but I’m still working on it.
Alt: Stay tuned for scaffolding laughs.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Alt: It was grounds for concern.
Want to hear a roof joke? Never mind, it’s over your head.
Alt: You’ll get it eventually—shingles and all.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Alt: Nature’s original pun.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
Alt: Needs a quick nap.
I once had a job as a professional cricket impersonator—but I got fired for making too much noise.
Alt: Chirp outta luck.
Best Dad Joke Puns
I’m reading a book on glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
Alt: It’s stuck with me.
I don’t trust stairs—they’re always up to something.
Alt: Total climbers.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Alt: Beard decisions were made.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
Alt: Sweet success.
I tried to catch some fog yesterday. Mist.
Alt: Weather jokes are in the air.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
Alt: Shellfish behavior.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
Alt: Crumb-ling career path.
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
Alt: Bird behavior grounded.
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
Alt: Goal-oriented humor.
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Alt: Head over heels for science.
The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize.
Alt: Knockout invention.
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.
Alt: Sweet software glitch.
I asked the librarian if books on paranoia were available. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
Alt: Spooked by fiction.
I know a lot of jokes about retired people… but none of them work.
Alt: Out of punchline practice.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
Alt: That’s what it’s all about!
Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.
Alt: Tasty tunes.
I’m terrible at math, but I hear two wrongs don’t make a right… but three rights make a left.
Alt: Dad GPS malfunction.
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
Alt: Half the pain, all the pun.
I asked my dog, “What’s two minus two?” He said nothing.
Alt: Paw-sitive genius.
I once knew a guy who was a real pain in the neck… he was a chiropractor.
Alt: Crackin’ up!
Best One-Liner Dad Jokes
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
Alt: That mystery keeps me up at night.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
Alt: I felt that one emotionally.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
Alt: Maybe. Possibly. Probably not.
I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
Alt: That’s a solid zero for punning.
I’d tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
Alt: Needs more structure.
I wasn’t originally going to get a haircut, but then I thought it was shear madness.
Alt: A cut above the rest.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Alt: Major improvement.
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger—then it hit me.
Alt: Struck with realization.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
Alt: Lightbulb moment.
I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Alt: Certified fun.
I know they say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
Alt: Wallet ghosted me.
I told my suitcase no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
Alt: It’s packing its feelings.
I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.”
Alt: Scheduling conflict stretch.
I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
Alt: Fitness with flair.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.
Alt: Clipped from the dream.
My boss said to have a good day… so I went home.
Alt: Mission accepted.
I’m writing a book on reverse psychology—please don’t buy it.
Alt: Sales pitch gone backward.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside the box.
Alt: Room for thought.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. I’m not a mourning person.
Alt: Rise and cry.
I told a chemistry joke, but I got no reaction.
Best Bad Dad Jokes
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Alt: They just don’t have the stomach for it.
I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
Alt: She’s watching you read this.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
Alt: The cleanest ambush ever.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinz-sight.
Alt: Should’ve seen that coming.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
Alt: Truly a-corny-plished.
I used to work for a blanket factory, but it folded.
Alt: That job was a real cover-up.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Alt: It sauced up a good story.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Alt: Fore-sight is everything.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
Alt: TikTok fail.
I was going to tell a time-travel joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
Alt: Been there, groaned that.
Why don’t eggs tell each other secrets? They might crack up.
Alt: Yolk’s on them.
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
Alt: Weather jokes are cloudy at best.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Good thing it was a soft drink.
Alt: Fizzy but forgiving.
Why did the math book look sad? Too many problems.
Alt: Plot twist—it’s a tearjerker.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
Alt: Solving mysteries, Prime style.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine—he woke up.
Alt: Nap crisis averted.
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
Alt: It’s learning too fast.
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Don’t read it.
Alt: Seriously. Don’t.
Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing.
Alt: Lettuce pretend that didn’t happen.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
Best Dad Jokes for Kids
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!
Alt: The prehistoric nap champ.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
Alt: Germs got moves too.
What did one plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me.
Alt: Dishin’ out compliments.
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Alt: Tastes like an A+.
How does the ocean say hi? It waves.
Alt: It’s always tide to manners.
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
Alt: That’s some brassy brushing.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? He was stuffed.
Alt: No room in the fluff zone.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
Alt: The snack thief strikes again.
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
Alt: That’s a real stretch.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy.
Alt: Cracked under snack pressure.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
Alt: Chilly with a bite.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
Alt: Slipping into sickness.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
Alt: Moo-ved too little.
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells.
Alt: Nosey conversation.
Why was the broom late? It swept in.
Alt: Got caught up in a dust storm.
How do you throw a space party? You planet.
Alt: Interstellar planning at its finest.
What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
Alt: Holiday spelling bee champs.
What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
Alt: Their bond is concrete.
Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.
Alt: Hopped into public transit.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
Best Silly Dad Jokes
I used to play piano by ear… but now I use my hands.
Alt: It’s less painful that way.
I told my dog to play dead. He closed his eyes and started snoring.
Alt: Oscar-worthy nap.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
Alt: Works every time.
My socks got into a fight… now I have a pair of hole-y warriors.
Alt: Truly toe-to-toe.
I gave all my dead batteries away—free of charge!
Alt: Shockingly generous.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
Alt: Crumbs just didn’t cut it.
Why did the chicken sit in the middle of the road? She wanted to lay it on the line.
Alt: Egg-streme positioning.
I tried writing with a broken pencil… but it was pointless.
Alt: Just couldn’t make a mark.
I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
Alt: Spine-tingling service.
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
Alt: Moo-sical malfunction.
I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
Alt: Packed full of guilt.
Why did the computer go to art school? It wanted to improve its byte-sized creativity.
Alt: Ctrl + Alt + Van Gogh.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
Alt: Trunks of insignificance.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn’t find a date.
Alt: Old school romance.
I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
Alt: Tick-tock trauma.
I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
Alt: Hue-mor in every bite.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Alt: Just bone to be mild.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Alt: Arch nemesis.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite!
Alt: Barking cold.
Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
Worst Dad Jokes
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
Alt: The account didn’t check out.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Alt: Served with a side of regret.
I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.”
Alt: Scheduling over stretching.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Alt: A hairy transformation.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
Alt: Totally spacey service.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
Alt: Love lost at leg day.
Want to hear a construction joke? Oh… never mind, I’m still working on it.
Alt: It’s under de-struction.
I wouldn’t buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
Alt: Hook, loop, and sinker.
I dreamed I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted.
Alt: Silence is draining.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Alt: Grounds for concern.
I told my friend she was drawing her eyeliner too thick. She said, “That’s how I roll.”
Alt: Lash back incoming.
I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
Alt: Rubbed the wrong way.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Good thing it was a soft drink.
Alt: Pop goes the logic.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
Alt: Scrambled wit.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went… and then it dawned on me.
Alt: Light bulb moment.
My friend keeps saying “cheer up, man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.
Alt: Deep thoughts.
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Alt: Operation complete.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding.
Alt: Overhead enthusiasm.
I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
Alt: Past regrets.
Conclusion
Dad jokes are the best because they’re full of silly fun! Whether it’s dad humor, jokes for dads, or just silly jokes, they always make people smile (or groan!).
These groan-worthy jokes might be cheesy, but that’s what makes them so great. They’re wholesome jokes—perfect for sharing with family. Even if they’re bad jokes that are funny, kids and adults love them.
Need jokes for kids? These hilarious dad jokes are just right. Save these jokes to tell your kids for car rides or dinner time. And don’t forget the witty puns—they’re the cherry on top! Keep laughing and sharing the fun!
