150 Heart Jokes That’ll Keep You Laughing Beat by Beat!

Get ready to laugh with these Heart Jokes! We’ve put together the funniest and silliest cardiac jokes just for you. These are perfect if you love a good laugh and maybe even want to tell your doctor a joke or two.

You’ll find giggles in every line, from silly heart attack jokes to clever cardiology jokes. Some even poke fun at doctors with light and funny heart jokes medical.

Whether you’re learning about the heart or just want to smile, this list will make your day brighter. So don’t skip a beat dive in and enjoy the best heart jokes around!

 Hilarious Heart Jokes That’ll Make You Skip a Beat

1. I told my heart a joke… it skipped a beat.
   
2. I left my heart in the joke department.
   
3. My heart laughs harder than my brain.
   
4. You stole my heart… and then laughed at it.
   
5. I broke up with my cardiologist. He had no heart.
   
6. I wrote a love letter to my heart. It was heartfelt.
   
7. My heart loves stand-up… it’s always pounding!
   
8. Jokes about arteries? Now that’s vein comedy!
   
9. I told my crush a joke. My heart applauded.
   
10. My heart’s a real softie—it cries during rom-coms.
    
11. I heard a joke so good, my heart clutched its pearls.
    
12. I gave my heart to someone. She gave it a punchline.
    
13. My heart’s got rhythm, but no sense of timing.
    
14. I started laughing, and my heart did the wave.
    
15. Love jokes? My heart says, “Bring it on!”
    

Funny Heart Puns to Pump Up Your Day

1. You aorta laugh at this!
   
2. I’ve got a heart-on for puns.
   
3. You’re beating around the heart!
   
4. You’ve got a lot of heart—and a little sarcasm.
   
5. Don’t go breakin’ my cardio.
   
6. I’m totally atrium-ed by you.
   
7. Ventricles full of love and laughter.
   
8. You’re my cardiac crush.
   
9. That joke was heart-stopping—in a good way!
   
10. You’re such a valve-entine!
    
11. This joke has real pulse appeal.
    
12. Love is a serious heart-ical condition.
    
13. Let’s stay in sync—heart to heart.
    
14. I wear my heart on my pun.
    
15. My heart puns are pumping strong!
    

ALSO READ: Construction Jokes That Nail the Laughs!

Valentine’s Day Heart Jokes to Melt Anyone’s Heart

1. I aorta be your Valentine.
   
2. You stole my heart… but I’m not pressing charges.
   
3. I’ve got a cardiac condition—it’s called love.
   
4. Be mine or be tachycardic!
   
5. Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart beats fast when I see you!
   
6. Cupid hit me right in the left ventricle.
   
7. You make my heart go boom-boom pow!
   
8. I’m yours, heart and soul.
   
9. My Valentine? She’s got heart for days.
   
10. We go together like arteries and veins.
    
11. This Valentine pun is blood-pumping cute!
    
12. My heart belongs to chocolate and you.
    
13. You’re the arrhythmia I never knew I needed.
    
14. You make my heart leap—no trampoline required.
    
15. I’m falling for you… cardiac style.
    

Heart Jokes for Kids That Are Sweet and Silly

1. Why did the heart go to school? To learn how to beat!
   
2. What did the heart say to the brain? You think too much!
   
3. Knock knock. Who’s there? Aorta. Aorta who? Aorta tell you I like you!
   
4. What did the heart do when it got scared? It skipped a beat!
   
5. Why was the heart good at math? It always counted on its beats!
   
6. What makes the heart giggle? A good tickle in the funny bone!
   
7. What’s the heart’s favorite snack? Beats!
   
8. What’s a heart’s favorite dance? The pump and twist!
   
9. What did one heart say to the other? I’m beat!
   
10. Why did the heart bring a jacket? It was ventricle-cold!
    
11. What song does the heart sing? “I Will Survive!”
    
12. Why did the heart blush? Because it saw the lungs staring.
    
13. What game does the heart play? Beat the clock!
    
14. What’s a heart’s favorite color? Blood red, of course!
    
15. What does the heart do on the weekend? Takes a cardio-nap.
    

Romantic Heart Jokes for Couples Who Love to Laugh

1. I gave you my heart… with no refund policy.
   
2. You’re my favorite rhythm.
   
3. My heart skips a beat… every time you snore.
   
4. You complete my cardiac cycle.
   
5. Let’s grow old and arrhythmic together.
   
6. Your love fills every ventricle.
   
7. You’re my personal pacemaker.
   
8. You had me at heartbeat.
   
9. Love me like my heart loves caffeine.
   
10. When I see you, my heart pulls a stunt double.
    
11. I only have eyes—and a left atrium—for you.
    
12. You’re the reason my Fitbit panics.
    
13. My love for you is deeper than a coronary artery.
    
14. We’re a perfect match—like heart and lungs.
    
15. I left my heart in your inbox.
    

Cardiac Comedy: The Best Medical Heart Jokes

1. Cardiologists have a lot of heart—but no chill.
   
2. My doctor told me I have heart…burning love.
   
3. The heart surgeon broke up with me—said I was too closed-off.
   
4. I went for a check-up—turns out, my heart flutters for you.
   
5. Arteries love a good flow of humor.
   
6. I tried to become a cardiologist… but I didn’t have the guts.
   
7. Heart attack? Nah, just love at first sight.
   
8. Cardio docs know how to keep the beat.
   
9. That diagnosis was a real heartbreaker.
   
10. My heartbeat’s irregular—just like my sleep schedule.
    
11. Heart palpitations or love? You decide.
    
12. That medical pun? Straight to the heart!
    
13. The nurse took my pulse and my heart.
    
14. My EKG says “LOL.”
    
15. My cardiologist loves stand-up—especially when it’s about pressure.
    

Sweetheart Jokes That’ll Leave You Lovestruck

1. You’re my type—blood type, that is.
   
2. My sweetheart gives me palpitations.
   
3. I knew we were meant to be—my heart said so.
   
4. I found my heart… right next to yours.
   
5. You’re so sweet, my heart needs insulin.
   
6. Heart + You = Love squared.
   
7. My heart lights up like a Valentine’s store.
   
8. You’re the rhythm in my playlist.
   
9. I saw you, and my heart did the Macarena.
   
10. Sweetheart, you’re my favorite arrhythmia.
    
11. I don’t need Cupid—my heart already knows.
    
12. You’re the missing beat in my heart song.
    
13. My heart can’t even—especially around you.
    
14. You’ve got a hold on my aorta.
    
15. Together, we’re heart-throbbing adorable.
    

Heartfelt Jokes That’ll Make You LOL (Literally!)

1. I speak fluent heartbeat.
   
2. My heart writes better jokes than I do.
   
3. Love is just a four-chambered word.
   
4. If laughter is medicine, my heart’s the pharmacy.
   
5. Heart jokes? I’m fully invested.
   
6. I make puns with all my heart.
   
7. A heartfelt laugh is the best cardio.
   
8. I left my heart on stage—and my timing too.
   
9. The only thing stronger than my coffee? My heart puns.
   
10. I gave my heart a pep talk before this list.
    
11. Comedy is in my blood… and heart.
    
12. That joke hit me right in the ventricles.
    
13. You can’t spell hearty without heart.
    
14. I put my whole heart into this pun.
    
15. My heart’s got jokes for days—literally.
    

Beat This: Heart Jokes That Never Miss a Laugh

1. Beat it… but not my heart!
   
2. I’m totally beat—cardiologically speaking.
   
3. I dropped a beat… my heart caught it.
   
4. The rhythm of love? Pure comedy gold.
   
5. My playlist? Just heartbeats and punchlines.
   
6. I found the beat of my soul—it’s giggling.
   
7. This joke? Straight from the heart.
   
8. Beat by beat, pun by pun.
   
9. I’m syncing up to your heart jokes.
   
10. Don’t stop… heart-lievin’!
    
11. Beat you to it—with love.
    
12. Drumroll, please—my heart’s performing.
    
13. Laughing this hard is a heart workout.
    
14. My beats per minute? Joke-dependent.
    
15. I’d follow your beat anywhere.
    

Pulse-Pounding Heart Jokes for Laughs You’ll Feel

1. I felt that joke in my pulse!
   
2. My heart races… especially on punchlines.
   
3. The pulse of comedy lives here.
   
4. I checked my pulse—yep, it’s laughing!
   
5. Pulse check: still giggling.
   
6. My jokes have their own heartbeat.
   
7. These puns? Pure pulse power.
   
8. The rhythm got me… and it’s hilarious.
   
9. Fast pulse, faster puns!
   
10. Let’s keep this laugh line pumping.
    
11. The best jokes hit you right in the pulse.
    
12. Feel the beat, hear the pun.
    
13. My pulse is racing for these punchlines.
    
14. That joke? Felt it in every capillary.
    
15. Pulse up, volume up, laugh on!

Conclusion

We hope you had fun reading these funny heart jokes! Laughing is good for you, just like a healthy heart. This heart-related humor is perfect for kids, parents and even doctors.

If you enjoy love and heart puns, you’ll love telling these jokes to your friends. From cardiac comedy to sweet jokes about the heart, there’s something here for everyone.

Keep smiling and sharing these silly heart jokes with the people you care about. Laughter brings us together and a happy heart is a strong heart. Thanks for reading and don’t forget to share the laughs!