150 Funny Dad Jokes That Kids Will Totally Love

Funny Dad Jokes always make people laugh. These silly jokes are perfect for families. They are clean, simple and very funny.

Many kids love to hear dad jokes during dinner or car rides. Even though they are called bad dad jokes, they still make us smile. Some people groan, but deep down, they enjoy them.

These jokes use puns and silly wordplay. That’s what makes them fun! You can tell dad jokes for kids at school, home or parties.

Everyone will enjoy them—even teachers! People say funny jokes don’t need to be mean. That’s why dad jokes are great.

They are safe for all ages. You can laugh with your friends and not get in trouble. So, get ready to giggle.

This blog has the best and most funny dad jokes for everyone. From classics to new ones, you’ll find a joke that makes your day brighter and happier!

1. Hilarious Dad Jokes That Never Get Old

1. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
   
2. I used to play piano by ear, now I use my hands.
   
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
   
4. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity—it’s impossible to put down.
   
5. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
   
6. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
   
7. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
   
8. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
   
9. I used to be addicted to soap, but now I’m clean.
   
10. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Never mind, I’m not spreading it.
    
11. I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
    
12. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
    
13. I asked the dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
    
14. I wanted to go on a diet, but I have too much on my plate.
    
15. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That’s a big step forward.
    

2. Clean and Funny Dad Jokes for All Ages

1. Why did the golfer bring two pants? In case he got a hole in one.
   
2. What does a lemon say when it answers the phone? Yellow!
   
3. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
   
4. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
   
5. How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.
   
6. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
   
7. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
   
8. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
   
9. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
   
10. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
    
11. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
    
12. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
    
13. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
    
14. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
    
15. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
    

3. Best Dad Jokes to Make Everyone Groan

1. I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
   
2. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.
   
3. I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
   
4. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
   
5. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach pics.
   
6. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
   
7. I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
   
8. I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.
   
9. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine—he woke up.
   
10. I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.
    
11. Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
    
12. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.
    
13. I just found out I’m colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
    
14. My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.
    
15. I once got fired from a calendar factory—just because I took a day off.
    

ALSO READ: 150 Winter Jokes for Kids

4. Short Dad Jokes That Pack a Punch

1. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
   
2. I know a lot of jokes about retired people… but none of them work.
   
3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
   
4. Can February March? No, but April May.
   
5. Why are skeletons so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
   
6. I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
   
7. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
   
8. I only know one joke about paper—it’s tearable.
   
9. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!
   
10. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
    
11. I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
    
12. I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
    
13. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
    
14. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
    
15. Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
    

5. Corny Dad Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Good

1. Why did the man fall into the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
   
2. I gave away all my dead batteries… free of charge.
   
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
   
4. I used to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn’t in it.
   
5. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
   
6. I had a dream I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.
   
7. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It felt crummy.
   
8. I don’t trust those trees—they seem kind of shady.
   
9. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it’s “R”, but it’s the “C”.
   
10. I’m really good at my sleep. I can do it with my eyes closed.
    
11. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
    
12. I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop—but when I got home, all the signs were there.
    
13. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… she gave me a hug.
    
14. I once had a job as a professional cricket impersonator. It was just not my field.
    
15. I can’t take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep trying to bite him. I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread.

6. Funny Dad Jokes for Kids and Grown-Ups

1. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
   A stick.
   
2. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
   Because he wanted to go to high school.
   
3. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
   Tooth-hurty.
   
4. What do elves learn in school?
   The elf-abet.
   
5. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
   It wasn’t peeling well.
   
6. How does a penguin build its house?
   Igloos it together.
   
7. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
   A gummy bear.
   
8. What’s black and white and read all over?
   A newspaper.
   
9. How do you make a tissue dance?
   Put a little boogie in it.
   
10. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
    A palm tree.
    
11. What did the zero say to the eight?
    Nice belt!
    
12. What animal needs to wear a wig?
    A bald eagle.
    
13. Why did the computer go to art school?
    It had too many bytes.
    
14. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
    A puddle.
    
15. What kind of room has no doors or windows?
    A mushroom.
    

7. Classic Dad Jokes That Still Make Us Laugh

1. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
   
2. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
   
3. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
   
4. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
   
5. I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is going to happen… I can feel it.
   
6. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
   
7. I know a joke about a broken pencil… never mind, it’s pointless.
   
8. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets.
   
9. What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me.
   
10. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
    
11. What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
    
12. Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
    
13. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.
    
14. Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with the wrong note.
    
15. What did the grape do when he got stepped on? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
    

8. New and Trending Funny Dad Jokes

1. Why did the smartphone go to therapy? Too many hang-ups.
   
2. I asked ChatGPT to tell me a dad joke, and it said “no.” Even AI has limits.
   
3. What did the Zoom call say to the bad connection? You’re breaking up with me!
   
4. My refrigerator just texted me. It’s running again.
   
5. I got a job at a GPS factory—I’m going places!
   
6. Why did the iPhone go to school? It needed more data.
   
7. I tried to organize a hide-and-seek contest… but good players are hard to find.
   
8. I told Siri to tell me a joke—now she’s ignoring me.
   
9. Why did the electric car apply for a loan? It wanted to recharge its credit.
   
10. I asked Alexa for a joke… she said, “you.”
    
11. Why did the app fail? Too many bugs.
    
12. What’s the most popular dad joke on TikTok? “It’s not a phase, it’s a pun!”
    
13. My calendar is afraid of AI… it knows its days are numbered.
    
14. What do you call AI that writes jokes? ChatGPT—you’re welcome.
    
15. Even my toaster tells dad jokes now—it pops up and says “you’re toast!”
    

9. Punny Dad Jokes That Will Crack You Up

1. I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
   
2. I’m reading a book on glue—can’t put it down.
   
3. My dog’s name is “Five Miles,” so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
   
4. I was going to tell you a pun about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.
   
5. I’ve got a pun about vegetables… but it’s corny.
   
6. That bakery is on a roll.
   
7. The fish got bad grades because it was below sea level.
   
8. Don’t trust atoms—they make up everything.
   
9. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
   
10. I’m friends with all electricians—we have good current connections.
    
11. The math book is sad because it has too many problems.
    
12. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
    
13. The farmer was outstanding in his field.
    
14. I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I’d get no reaction.
    
15. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
    

10. Dad Jokes for Every Occasion: Birthday, BBQ & Beyond

1. Birthday: I don’t mean to brag, but I got older today.
   
2. Birthday: You’re not old—you’re just well-seasoned.
   
3. BBQ: I’d grill you with more jokes, but you might get burned.
   
4. BBQ: This meat is so good, it’s rare… just like my jokes.
   
5. Holiday: I put my Christmas tree on a diet—now it’s a “slim” fir.
   
6. Valentine’s: Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.
   
7. Back to School: I told the teacher a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
   
8. Father’s Day: I only need one gift—laughter from bad jokes.
   
9. New Year’s: My resolution? To keep telling terrible dad jokes.
   
10. Thanksgiving: I’m thankful for stretchy pants and punny parents.
    
11. Halloween: What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spookghetti.
    
12. Summer: I’m so bright, my dad wears sunglasses around me.
    
13. Winter: I told a snowman a joke… it melted from laughter.
    
14. Graduation: I’m so proud, I can’t even pun straight.
    
15. Anytime: A good dad joke is never out of season.

Conclusion

Funny dad jokes always bring big smiles and happy laughs. They are silly, fun and perfect for everyone.

From cheesy dad jokes to corny dad jokes, there’s one for every mood. Even the bad dad jokes can make you laugh out loud! Kids love clean dad jokes for kids and grown-ups enjoy silly jokes for dads too.

These jokes are simple but full of joy. Whether you’re telling hilarious dad jokes at dinner or sharing the funniest dad jokes ever with friends, they never fail to entertain. Keep laughing, keep smiling, and always enjoy a good dad joke!