130 Bagel Puns That’ll Leave You Hole-Heartedly Laughing

Bagel puns are a fun way to start your day with a smile! These round, tasty treats aren’t just good for breakfast—they’re great for laughs too.

If you love funny bagel sayings, you’ll enjoy this list. We’ve got bagel jokes, bagel quotes funny and even some bagel pick up lines that’ll make you giggle.

Teachers can share bagel puns for Students to make their class laugh. We even added some bagel Christmas jokes for the holidays. Want clever and funny puns about your favorite snack? You’re in the right place.

Whether you’re looking for bagel fun or just need something silly to share, this is your go-to spot. These fun bagel jokes are perfect for friends, family or your next Instagram post.

So grab a bagel and get ready to laugh out loud with our best bagel jokes and more. Let’s roll into the dough-lightful fun!

Short One-Liner Bagel Puns

Quick, easy and baked to perfection—these one-liners are packed with pun-ch.

1. I’m on a roll… a bagel roll.
   
2. That bagel’s got a hole lotta charm.
   
3. You’re everything I ever kneaded.
   
4. Feeling bready for anything today.
   
5. This is how I roll—circular and delicious.
   
6. Bagel it till you make it.
   
7. Holey moly, that’s a good bagel!
   
8. Don’t go bacon my bagel.
   
9. I’m feeling a bit crumby this morning.
   
10. Bagels: doughnut’s savory cousin.
    
11. Life is what you bake it.
    
12. The bagel life chose me.
    
13. Love at first bite.
    

ALSO READ: Whale Puns and Jokes That’ll Make You Laugh Out Loud!

Clever Question-Answer Bagel Puns

Because every pun needs a good setup—and a chewy punchline.

1. Q: Why did the bagel cross the road?
   A: To prove it wasn’t toast!
   
2. Q: What did the bagel say to the toaster?
   A: You’re hot and I can’t resist.
   
3. Q: Why don’t bagels tell secrets?
   A: Because they’re afraid of getting toasted!
   
4. Q: What’s a bagel’s favorite sport?
   A: Hole-in-one golf.
   
5. Q: Why was the bagel always calm?
   A: It had a well-rounded personality.
   
6. Q: What’s a bagel’s favorite kind of music?
   A: Anything with a good roll!
   
7. Q: How do bagels stay in shape?
   A: They do a lot of lox-jumping.
   
8. Q: Why did the bagel go to school?
   A: To get a little “breaducation.”
   
9. Q: What did one bagel say during a breakup?
   A: “I’m feeling crumby without you.”
   
10. Q: How do bagels greet each other?
    A: “Long time no seed!”
    
11. Q: What do bagels use to surf the web?
    A: Google schmearth.
    
12. Q: What did the bagel say at karaoke night?
    A: “Let’s get this party rollin’!”
    
13. Q: What’s a bagel’s favorite superhero?
    A: The Flash—it’s all about speed toast!
    

Christmas Bagel Puns

Spread joy and cream cheese with these holiday-ready puns.

1. Have an everything-bagel kind of Christmas!
   
2. Sleigh my name, sleigh my name—with bagels!
   
3. Merry Crustmas and a Hole-y New Year!
   
4. Deck the halls with schmear and bagels.
   
5. I like my bagels jolly and toasty.
   
6. Bagel bells, bagel bells, bagel all the way.
   
7. Let it dough, let it dough, let it dough!
   
8. Christmas calories don’t count—especially bagels.
   
9. You’re on the bagel nice list.
   
10. Toast the season with something warm and chewy.
    
11. May your bagels be merry and bright.
    
12. All I want for Christmas is chew.
    
13. Yule love this bagel, guaranteed.
    

Funny Bagel Puns for Teachers

Perfect for thank-you notes or light-hearted classroom fun.

1. Thanks for helping me roll through school!
   
2. You’re the everything in my bagel world.
   
3. I kneaded a teacher like you.
   
4. You make every lesson delicious.
   
5. Holey wow—you’re a smart one!
   
6. Thanks for toasting my brain with knowledge.
   
7. Bagel-icious learning with you!
   
8. You make my grades rise like dough.
   
9. The best thing since sliced bagels!
   
10. You’ve got the right blend of flavor and facts.
    
11. Schmeared with wisdom.
    
12. Learning never tasted so good.
    
13. Donut tell anyone, but you’re my favorite.
    

Best Bagel Puns for Your Morning Mood

Start your day with a bite of punny goodness.

1. Rise and schmear!
   
2. Mornings are butter with bagels.
   
3. Bagels make me feel hole again.
   
4. Crust me, today’s gonna be great.
   
5. Toasting to a fresh start!
   
6. I like my mornings chewy.
   
7. Got up on the right side of the bagel.
   
8. That sunrise? Totally worth the wake-up.
   
9. Don’t worry, be bready.
   
10. Brewed coffee and a bagel fix everything.
    
11. My soul runs on bagels and bold choices.
    
12. Sunshine, schmear, and everything near.
    
13. Bagel-ieve in your day!
    

One Liner Bagel Puns with a Hole Lotta Love

Puns full of warm fuzzies and toasty feelings.

1. You complete me, like cream cheese on a bagel.
   
2. A hole lotta love goes into every bite.
   
3. I’m loxed in love with you.
   
4. Bagel kisses and everything wishes.
   
5. You’re my missing schmear.
   
6. Let’s stick together like bagels and butter.
   
7. I’m toast without you.
   
8. You’re baked into my heart.
   
9. I’ve got a hole in my heart—until you walk in.
   
10. Our love rises like dough.
    
11. You’re everything—just like my favorite bagel.
    
12. I’m feeling all warm and toasted inside.
    
13. Holey smokes, I adore you!
    

Bagel Puns to Say Thank You

Show gratitude with a side of carbs and humor.

1. Thanks a lox!
   
2. You helped me roll through the tough times.
   
3. You’re the schmear on my success.
   
4. Bagelieve me, I’m grateful.
   
5. I’m on a roll, thanks to you!
   
6. Thank you a hole lot!
   
7. You always rise to the occasion.
   
8. Toasting to your kindness.
   
9. Thanks for making life delicious.
   
10. A heartfelt thanks with extra toppings.
    
11. You’re baked right into my story.
    
12. You’re everything I needed—literally.
    
13. Couldn’t have done it without your sesame support.
    

Punny Bagel Captions for Instagram

Perfect for selfies, brunch pics or foodie reels.

1. Just bagel-ing around.
   
2. Schmear happiness everywhere.
   
3. Life’s too short for bad bagels.
   
4. Holy hole-y goodness!
   
5. Toasting to the weekend!
   
6. Bagel squad: assemble!
   
7. Crust me, this one’s a classic.
   
8. On a roll with brunch goals.
   
9. Eat bagels. Feel good. Repeat.
   
10. When life gives you lemons, eat a bagel.
    
11. Love at first bite
    
12. Bagel vibes only.
    
13. I like you a lox.
    

Cute and Romantic Bagel Puns

Because love should always be warm and freshly toasted.

1. You’re my everything bagel.
   
2. You make my heart rise.
   
3. You’re the butter to my bagel.
   
4. Let’s stick together like toasted halves.
   
5. I lox being around you.
   
6. You’re my daily schmear of joy.
   
7. Bagel my heart, why don’t you?
   
8. You complete my breakfast and my life.
   
9. You’ve got me twisted in love.
   
10. I can’t imagine a world without you—or bagels.
    
11. Holey smokes, I’m in love.
    
12. Let’s get toasted together.
    
13. I dough love you!
    

More Hilarious Bagel Puns

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any toastier.

1. Lox and loaded with laughs.
   
2. Bagel up, it’s pun time!
   
3. Don’t be salty, be sesame.
   
4. Toast much fun, really.
   
5. If bagels had fans, I’d be the president.
   
6. Everything is better on a bagel.
   
7. Rise and shine, it’s bagel time!
   
8. I’m on a carb high.
   
9. This pun’s fresh out of the oven.
   
10. Bagel dreams are real.
    
11. Be bready for anything.
    
12. This is what brunch dreams are made of.
    
13. Keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’!

Conclusion

Bagel puns are a hole lot of fun! They make everyone laugh and smile. From cute bagel jokes to great puns and one liners, there’s something for every mood.

You can use them for cards, chats or even a bagel meme funny post. Want to brighten someone’s day? Share some sweet valentine bagels puns.

These silly sayings are like the best bagel quotes—tasty and fun. If you love wordplay, a good bagel word pun will always hit the spot. Keep these funny bites ready to go. Because when it comes to quotes about bagels, laughter is the best topping!